a new year {personal}

i heard something that resonated with me today. it's Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, and although i haven't been to a synagogue in a ridiculously long time, i went today. i'm glad i did for many many reasons, one being the fact that this was read in part of the service. "[Now]

There were no formerly heroic times, and there was no formerly pure generation. There is no one here but us chickens, and so it has always been: a people busy and powerful, knowledgeable, ambivalent, important, fearful, and self-aware; a people who scheme, promote, deceive, and conquer; who pray for their loved ones, and long to flee misery and skip death. It is a weakening and discoloring idea, that rustic people knew God personally once upon a time - or even knew selflessness or courage or literature - but that it is too late for us. In fact, the absolute is available to everyone in every age. There never was a more holy age than ours, and never a less.

There is no less holiness at this time - as you are reading this - than there was the day the Red Sea parted, or that day in the thirtieth year, in the fourth month, on the fifth day of the month, as Ezekiel was a captive by the river Chebar, when the heavens opened and he saw visions of God. There is no whit less enlightenment under the tree by your street than there was under the Buddha's bo tree. There is no whit less might in heaven or on earth than there was the day Jesus said, 'Maid, arise' to the centurion's daughter, or the day Peter walked on water, or the night Mohammed flew to heaven on a horse. In any instant, the bush may flare, your feet may rise, or you may see a bunch of souls in a tree. In any instant you may avail yourself of the power to love your enemies; to accept failure, slander, or the grief of loss; or to endure torture.

Purity's time is always now. Purity is no social phenomenon, a cultural thing whose time we have missed, whose generations are dead, so we can only buy Shaker furniture. 'Each and every day the Divine Voice issues from Sinai,' says the Talmud. Of eternal fulfillment, Tillich said, 'If it is not seen in the present, it can't be seen at all."

-- Annie Dillard, "For the Time Being"

i don't consider myself a religious person. i don't believe that anyone is more or less deserving of love because of their beliefs, and i have trouble with the various exclusivities of organized religion. even if you're an atheist, i truly believe that this passage has meaning. to me it isn't just about God. to me it's about the fact that inside all of us is a capacity for humanity that gets ignored all too often these days. it's like it's not cool anymore, or even necessary or acceptable, to think deeply about who we are as human beings.

let's not mark our new years with champagne and empty resolutions that no one keeps. let's wake up a little and think about how we can be more truly ourselves.

begin again + sneak peek {oregon editorial photography}

i moved to corvallis when i was 9. i've lived here continuously since i was 15. so i've got over 10 years of history here. my family had planned to make this their settle-down home, but they've all been trickling north the past few years to bellingham and seattle. i'm not going as far north, but i am moving to portland may 1.

may 1??! seems ridiculously soon with all i've got to do.

i'm sad to leave corvallis, and all of the people/places i've met along the way. but it's been so long since i've had such a fresh-start move and i'm really excited to see what comes my way.

and it seems fitting that i should take a mini-vacation before such a big change, to recharge and get ready for the chaos - so i'm off to doe bay with my family to enjoy the hot springs and spend some quality time with them. see you all next week and in the meantime, here's a little preview of a shoot i did this last weekend with a fabulous model, marie.

following {oregon portrait photography}

photo day with megan, one of my most frequent muses. she took a few pictures of me as well. i'm waiting for the film to come back but these are some of my favorite digital ones for now. have a good weekend everyone!

[caption id="attachment_1257" align="aligncenter" width="490" caption="accidental capture while showing megan a camera setting. sort of cool though :)"][/caption]

kate | film {oregon portrait photography}

these are film scans from late summer (i think. it's been awhile). no editing except for a few changes to black and white. photographed in independence, oregon with a hasselblad 501cm using expired kodak/fujicolor film. i think next time i'll keep better notes on what film i used. ;)

[caption id="attachment_1138" align="aligncenter" width="490" caption="i am so squinty in this one that kate took! but ella looks cute, so who cares."][/caption]

texas | film {personal}

these belong with a previous post. but since i'm bad about labeling my film and having it processed with any sort of regularity, i just found them recently. 2 frames from texas this summer. photographed with seagull twin-lens. [caption id="attachment_1143" align="aligncenter" width="490" caption="no editing but i did change this one to black and white. guilty."][/caption]